Life of Scott

Imagination unleashed.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Signing Proud

This morning, on my drive into work, I saw a bumper sticker that said "Signing Proud." It had a rainbow colored hand doing some gang sign. What does it mean? This woman is especially proud of gay deaf people? I think the sign language for "gay" is the one where you make a circle with one hand and put your finger into it. Proud of gay gang members? I imagine an inner city gang is not the friendliest place for gays. They would have to start up new gangs -- the Gay Bloods and the Gay Crips. And they'd never get anything done because they are too busy hooking up -- just like Key Club in high school. The only reason any boy joined was to get with the girls who wanted to put volunteer work on their resumes. So "cleaning up the park" turned into "flirting with a garbage bag in your hands." A drive-by shooting turns into circle jerking through the projects. That is NOT something I would be proud of.

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Spam Folder: Part 2

Spam messages, like all advertisements (pronounced ad-VER-tiss-mints), cater to your fantasies of what life should be like. How you always wanted it. This batch of spam is no different:


Loving means ramming

I knew I was the man when she stared in amazement the moment I took of my pants.

Your woman will be stunned by your erection

With this your life will be a party full of hot chicks

I decided it would be a fun hobby to buy every single penis enlargement program I could find for sale on the internet and then create my own site telling people what I thought about them all.

Suffering from short peniss?

Please your love mate by 100%. She will like it when you spear her with your new immeasurable rod!

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