Life of Scott

Imagination unleashed.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Spam Folder: Part 1

Joe and I have been skimming our spam folders since spam filters were first invented (2003 maybe?). According to my email, I can add three inches to my penis, sleep with my neighbor's wife AND my neighbor's daughter, get prescription drugs for recreational usage, and buy a genuine Rolex watch for $29.

Some excerpts from my Spam folder:

Be the pride of your family with your legendary pecker.

Let's bet that my penis is bigger than yours.

I peeked at my neighbor's daughter. Don't disappoint her when she sees how small you are.

Last her with a power gun.

Look classy and wealthy with an expensive watch on your wrist.

Hey wake up and smell the coffee its already Thu, 20 Mar 2008 02:57:25 -0800

I do not need this [link], mine's a whopper

Break the monotony of life with a cool new watch.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Engagery!

Well that settles it. I am officially engaged to be married to the lovely and funny Amanda. As should have been expected, the proposal was neither well-planned nor well-executed.

She was supposed to go to class after work yesterday, so I started driving to her parents' place to ask them for their daughter's hand in marriage. But I got a call from her while on the road, saying that she is skipping class and going home. I am a terrible liar, so I had to admit to being with her folks when she called looking for me (since she was at home and I was inexplicably not).

I sped home after asking the parents and barged into the apartment, but she was on the phone. I hollered, "Get off the phone! Hurry! I have something important to say! WILL YOU BE MY WIFE I WANT TO MARRY YOU AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER!" I even had a ring.

I thought about planning something cute and overly sentimental, but then I got too excited to wait. I figured I could either wait for the next snow, build a snowman with a ring on his stick-hand and write some goofy poem and arrange for rose petals to fall out of the sky. Or I could just barge into the apartment, interrupt her conversation, and holler a proposal at her. When I compared the two options, it was an easy choice.

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