Life of Scott

Imagination unleashed.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Four Thanksgiving Dinners

With divorced parents, family who cannot get along, and a girlfriend, I am stuck attending four Thanksgiving dinners. I used to love this holiday because of its simplicity and lack of gifts. Now it is just as bad and uncomfortable as the rest of them

My mother is having her own Thanksgiving dinner because she is fighting with her brother. Dad is having his own Thanksgiving dinner because he is divorced from my mother. The rest of the family is having a dinner. And my girlfriend wants me to stop by her folks' place.

Since when do families get to choose who they celebrate holidays with? I have not liked my cousin Dan ever since he kissed my sister with tongue, so maybe I should demand a separate Thanksgiving without him. My sister, Jenny, and I have been fighting, so I want separate dinners with Dad and with Mom, but without Jenny.

In a perfect world, there would be an auction. I would be available for one dinner only and the hosts have to bid on me. Mom might offer an Xbox 360 game and Dad could counter with a bottle of Scotch. My Uncle Bill would set up some skeet shooting in the backyard and then I could make an informed decision and maybe stop hating the fucking holidays.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Marmoo said...

Hey Scott,

You express what is becoming the typical American Thanksgiving experience . . . especially in the 21st century.

Excellent!

Mary, the Realtor

7:08 PM  

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