Life of Scott

Imagination unleashed.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Bachelor Party Predictions

Tomorrow, we start the long weekend. My friend, Kevin, is getting married, so we are throwing him a three-day bachelor party in a house on Lake Cumberland in Kentucky. We are going to drink, swim, fish, play video games, grill, play poker, and share our feelings.

I bought a floating chair with a cupholder armrest for my beer and I also have a 9-foot inflatable boat that will be filled with coolers of more beer. So we will be floating on the lake with beer in our chairs attached to a boat full of more beer. Maybe we will even bring our fishing rods with us. I will probably pass out with my line in the water and I will wake up in the middle of the lake because a fish pulled me out there. I will look around and see no sign of land and I will think I am doomed to die in the ocean until a boat full of young girls comes by.

They will ask me if I need help. "Hello, Scott. We are hotter than your friends will believe and we want to rub aloe on your sunburn because we think people that get very red in the sun are sexy." I will look back at my boat full of beer and initially say, "No," but I will quickly think the better of it and let them pull me aboard. They will have a wakeboard and I will slip my feet into it and do some sweet tricks that will impress them so much, their clothes will fall off. They will say, "Oh, he is good. Let's try to get him to fall by showing our boobs!" But it will not work -- I will merely do an even sweeter trick than before. Then they will say, "Let's kiss, too." I will stay strong until they get really dirty and then I will fall and break my penis against the water.

I will spend the rest of the weekend with ice in my shorts, saying, "Yes, that is actually how it happened!"


Anonymous Amanda said...

Well, I think that is probably what will happen to you - at least the penis breaking part anyhow

1:24 PM  
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