Life of Scott

Imagination unleashed.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Sanchez the Pirate: Part 2

Sanchez climbed aboard his banana boat and sailed for the Aisle of Wenches in search of an ice cream sandwich. On his way there, four dolphins were playing in his wake and swimming around, so Sanchez shot their heads off with a cannon ball. This was due to his piratery and also his hunger.


Sanchez drifted off to sleep for one hour during the trip, when he dreamed of crazy woman with eyes where her boobs should have been.

Sanchez: Hello, Wench.
Wench: I am not a wench. I am a monster.
Sanchez: Give me your ice cream sandwiches and I will let you live, Monster.
Monster: You are a dumb crapfart. My eyes are up here.

Sanchez awoke to a night sky and wondered where he was. The Aisle of Wenches should be around here somewhere. I will use the sex to figure out where I am. He meant the "sextant." Foolishly, he set the instrument on the poop deck, where it promptly fell into the ocean. Oh, crap, thought Sanchez. That was my only sex.

Several more hours later, Sanchez noticed an enemy pirate ship approaching. In pirate days, there were rivalries, just like in the professional sports of today. The similarities ended there, however. Instead of competing for trophies and bragging rights, pirates simply exploded each other with dynamite. Sanchez had no more cannon balls left -- he fired the last six at the moon in a desperate attempt to shut it off so he could sleep -- and no other means of defense. I will be exploded for sure, he thought. Or will he?

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