Life of Scott

Imagination unleashed.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Sanchez the Pirate: Part 1

There once was a pirate named Sanchez. He was the first Mexican pirate, born to a family of scoundrels in the early 1800’s in a small village near Teotihuacán. Here is a picture of it.

It was a pretty small village.
His mother loved him a very small amount, so he raped and pillaged a lot. His favorite place to rape and pillage was the local church, so he could immediately confess his sins and not bother with the worry or the guilt. He was, after all, the best sort of rapist/pillager.
One day, Sanchez woke up from his siesta, pillaged the neighbor's place, and set off for his boat. It is a good day for an ice cream sandwich, thought Sanchez. I bet those girls have one on my boat and I will eat it from them.
Do they hide ice cream sandwiches?

"Hello, young girls. Please give me your ice cream sandwiches and leave my ship," demanded Sanchez. "Otherwise, I will rape you because I am a pirate. At a much later date, my awful deeds will be romanticized and this utter disregard for peace and human rights will become funny."

Unfortunately, the girls had nothing but gossip and periods. Sanchez tried to make sense of who was kissing who and how much Lupe stuffs her bra, but ultimately became disgusted with the uselessness of their chatter. "Ay, carumba!" exclaimed Sanchez and he cut their heads off with his sword. That was a close one, thought Sanchez. Now where should I go next?

Now you, the faithful blog reader, will decide what Sanchez does next! Should he plunder a retirement community in southern Florida? Go water skiing? Find a wench? Leave your best ideas in the comments.

1 Comments:

Blogger Evan said...

You finally switched over to Blogger. What does Joe think about this?

2:10 PM  

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